Swimwear: How to cover your ass

Dude... where's my shorts?

For some guys, parading in a pair of shorts around the pool could be an intimidating situation where members of the opposite sex giggled at your ‘bulge’ (I mean the middle one) and guys making hippo jokes. Fear not, here is some quick tips in picking the right swimwear that will make you look cool by the poolside.

Avoid Speedos unless you are Ian Thorpe or competing in the national swimming competition.
Pick up swimming shorts that are mid-rise so that your pubes don’t stand out like a rain forest.
Unless you have nice large thighs like Daniel Craig, go for a mid thigh length board shorts just short above the knee.

This is the exception.....
Go for quick dry nylon material as it won’t retain so much water, dry faster and easier to pack when wet.
Contrarily to popular belief, elastic waistbands does not secure well and makes you look fat when it wraps around your waistline.
Go for velcro and a fixed lace-up tying combination which is common among board shorts, giving you double safety in the event of strong waves blowing it off.
If you are abit heavy around the waistline, go for minimal patterns and solid colours so that it doesn’t draw attention to your waistline.

.... and so is this. Don't try this at home kids
Recommended brands for men’s swimwear such as Billabong, Rip Curl or Quicksilver that makes quality board shorts. Mine lasted close to 8 years and counting.
Lastly, learning how to swim helps Have fun.